by Lois Barth, Human Development Expert, Speaker, Coach, and Author

Welcome to the first entry of my new blog!

All Things Human; The ups and downs and all arounds of life, lessons, laughter, and love.

Entry #1- Pain: The sacred messenger

It’s my birthday part-time staycation week, and I’m literally flat on my back; terrified to turn over and try to get up let alone walk. Every muscle, vertebrae, tendon, and ligament is crying out in its collective, connective tissue and muscular-skeletal unhappiness.

Yes, I hoisted that Trader Joe’s bag in a funky way; packed with staples I “thought” I had to have on our trip. Yes, I’ve been having pain upon rising for the last three weeks, but this, feels like rigor mortis set in and I’m still alive to tell the tale and feel the pain. The pain reverberating down my left arm makes holding a tumbler filled with water feel like a thousand-pound ache.

I go to urgent care; I get the ibuprofen and muscle relaxers. I take the X-rays. I surrender my ego to the fact that in total, I can count on both hands the amount of times I’ve taken aspirin, Aleve, and antibiotics. Not that I’m against Western Medicine at all. If I break a leg I’m certainly not going to go to an acupuncturist. But I will always look for natural alternatives.

I take the meds. The pain starts to dissipate. I’m beyond grateful. In a prior career as a licensed medical massage therapist for several decades, I know getting out of pain is the first step of a long journey, but addressing the issue is the real prize.

And so the question keeps persisting, “What is my body desperately trying to tell me?” And not in the most Kumbaya ‘let’s have a chat’ kind of way. As I climb out of the ceaseless pain, crawl haltingly, and get my bearings, I write in my journal. Yes, I dialogue with the parts of my body that are in pain and ask Spirit to guide the dialogue.

I “expect” the response will be of a practical nature: too many hours in front of the computer, or not enough outdoor time. Even though I do my best to get to the gym 3-5 days a week, I’ve plummeted into a “yawn” go-through-the-motions workout. But none of those answers come, my body has a far deeper wisdom. It wakes me beyond the trans of “I need to have a healthier lifestyle” and goes “Boing!” right into the core of my soul.

“You’re not living your true life,” I am surprised by its response. I counter, “Really I have a lot of great things in my life; work I love, a great partner, dear friends, being love-bombed for my birthday, feeling healthy (up until now), Do tell!”

So it did, pages, tears, and ink marks on the side of my left fist later, my bold brave body told me where the gaps were. “Self-expression” was the theme that came up. A deeper commitment to my creativity, vulnerability, and transparency; the type that gives you and others a bridge to see and be seen, to melt the isolation that keeps us all in shackles of aloneness. To share these truths whether in the written word, videos, conversations, or my speaking, it doesn’t matter. It persists.

“Your soul is crying. Stop giving it a tissue, and give it a voice instead.”

Two memories flash through my mind.

One was a conversation with a dear friend’s boyfriend, a professional storyteller who once said, “We tell the stories that others are too afraid to speak, but crave to hear.” Second, a conversation with a roommate I met briefly at a writer’s retreat. An incredible poet who shared that she wanted to heal the pain in the world, so she went for her Ph.D. program to be a psychologist. The second she applied; her body shut down. So much so that she was flat on her back for a year, and all she could do was cry, write poetry, eat, and sleep. Luckily she had family members to take care of her kids.

A year later, she knew her “medicine” to the world, was her poetry not getting another degree. She hasn’t stopped since with her spoken word elixir that she shares with her peeps.

I thanked my bold brave body for bringing me to my senses. I crawled to the computer to explore sharing my writing, confused about where to begin, and how to move forward. I stopped, breathed, and asked my body to reveal its wisdom.

 “Start where you are and you’ll go far” (even if far is just getting the first blog post out) was told to me by a teacher years ago when I watched myself getting overwhelmed and feeling like I had to “go fast to catch up.”

“What about “next steps?” I asked.

The “what” is our work, and the “how” is the universe to guide us to the next steps.  

A week later, I’m extraordinarily grateful to be feeling better, and off the meds, I will still pursue P.T. acupuncture, a standing desk, LOTS of breaks while plopping myself on the computer, and a ton of stretching. I will equally honor that part of me that craves greater transparency in my self-expression in hopes that others feel safe enough to come forth with theirs.

I heard it said, “The body is biased towards healing,” and I truly believe it. But part of having that advantage is to see pain, not as an enemy, but rather as a sacred messenger.

Thanks for tuning in and NOT tuning out.

For what the world needs are people who are truly tuned in.